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Hey Lindsey,

So I’ve already been going crazy with trying to figure out if my personal any pal really likes me. So listed here is many items that have happened….So as soon as we initially turned into buddies she made a build a keep and mentioned it actually was all of our infant after which she wished to fake day and I also swear she had previously been all flirty however when I shared with her that we liked her she was all like I like you as well but just as a buddy and I’m puzzled because I was thinking I happened to be correct and I was actually only questioning wouldn’t you might think a similar thing if someone else performed that for your requirements?

-Becca

Hey Becca,

I have found it better to believe individuals once they tell me how they feel—best as the option is basically operating myself personally crazy second guessing exactly why their unique terms and measures don’t make, what changed, and whether or not it was one thing I did. That sort of crazy making never becomes me anyplace. However for a long time i obtained caught up inside, therefore I undoubtedly understand where your mind is at.

The friend is not into you. She likes you as a friend. You’re having difficulty assuming her caused by the woman flirtatious behavior.

Here is the fact, however. The friend might have wished to «fake date» you in order to see if she’d need to in fact date you—and determined that she did not wish date you for a million legitimate reasons, a lot of them becoming:

• she’s keen on your body yet not emotionally or the other way around

• she actually is bicurious but not prepared date a lady

• she’s got feelings for an ex and isn’t prepared be with any person now

• She loves attention from women—and gay women conveniently target various other women regardless of their sexuality

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We’ve written about flirty friendships before, and
look for about this right here
whether or not it makes it possible to discover closure from the entire situation.

You probably didn’t ask myself exactly what your buddy was actually thinking, though. You questioned everything I will have made from the woman behavior together with answer is: It depends.

You will find certainly times I would have believed she was into myself, as you performed. Additionally there are times I would have seen through her conduct to know that she desired my affection and attention, but could not reciprocate romantically.

There are undoubtedly occasions i’d have presumed she was actually into myself, just like you performed. There are additionally times I would have experienced through her behavior in order to comprehend that she wished my passion and interest, but would never reciprocate romantically.

Really does your own pal determine as a lesbian, or has she ever before dated or slept with a woman? If this lady has been straight recognized until she mentioned she planned to fake day both you and have a bear baby, I then’d brush-off her conduct as typical flirty/bicurious direct lady. I may have flirted and already been affectionate with her in the event it made me feel great to achieve that, although not expected it turn into any such thing genuine.

Yes, for some people, female sex is actually fluid many of these straight-identified females perform continue to accept their own bi or lesbian side, eventually, occasionally making use of ladies they flirt with. Could happen—but it is uncommon, and it’s really usually a waste of mental power to follow those women.

Certainly, for a few people, feminine sex is actually fluid several among these straight-identified women carry out continue to embrace your bi or lesbian area, ultimately, sometimes together with the females they flirt with. It can happen—but it is rare, and it’s usually a complete waste of mental fuel to pursue those girls.

Basically knew she liked ladies and she acted that way, I would personally have believed I’d the opportunity together and may also have expected this lady away. However, she made herself clear. She wishes a friendship just. Carry out her (therefore) the support of trusting their, and find somebody who is actually mentally offered and is in fact a lesbian or bisexual.

If you need to pull back from relationship for a little while, because you’ve believed there is potential and also you’ve already been rebuffed, which is good. Require some area from this pal before you’re able observe the lady platonically once again. Use that additional time to pursue various other females and work out it clear your girl pal that you will be touring for dateable ladies to remove any weirdness either of you could be feeling.

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